The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
third nipple confirmed
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Randomize
