Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize