Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
