I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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