My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
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