walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
