it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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