oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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