hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I just gargled with NyQuil
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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