lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
