why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
