Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
