hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
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