My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
