My boss' voice literally gives me gas
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
