Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
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We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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