there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
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