it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
MIDGETS
????
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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