There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
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