New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Randomize
