He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
