k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
