I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
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