Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Randomize
