Ketchup is God's man juice
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
