we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
