Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
