whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize