Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
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She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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