I'm passing your future prison.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
