It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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