I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
