i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
