its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
