That's intense
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
