Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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