Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
