Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
