if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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