no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize
