cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
