Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Then you guys just all showered together...?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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