We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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