you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Randomize
