I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
