did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Randomize
