he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
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