We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
i've created a new STD.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
