Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize