Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
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