Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
