Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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