Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
vagina is talking i cant
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Why can't burritos get me drunk
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
