How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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