You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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