so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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