Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
