I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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