She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
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