she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
