never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
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I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
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Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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