I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Randomize
