yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
