dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
there was a trapeze. enough said
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
